Working one-to-one

Beanisons offer a safe place where those in difficulty may discuss their concerns and take time to explore solutions.  All our work is confidential.

The aim of our helping/mentoring sessions is to develop understanding as to how being different affects both the individual and those who share their lives, and to provide a safe space where those concerned may express  and discuss their feelings without fear of judgement.

This is important: you are not alone.

We know from experience that finding someone who understands ASD and/or Gender-Complexity from the inside is not easy.  There is very little help out there. We also know how isolated and alone people can feel when understanding and communication breakdown – which is why we are here to assure you that you are not alone.

  • In individual sessions we offer either a single or a series of one-hour slots designed to start the process of understanding. We offer these as separate sessions to both the individual and their partners/family members
  • We will talk to the partner/family member(s) about what it is they find difficult about the individual and using examples we will talk about how a particular incident or conversation may look from the other side of the divide.
  • We will talk to the individual about what it is they find particularly difficult to understand about the way those around them function and think.

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Neither neurotypicals nor ASD individuals can ever fully get inside the others’ head but understanding issues such as the hair-trigger adrenalin rush that can sometimes knock a person with Asperger’s entirely off balance, can help the NT (neurotypical) family member ensure that, at the very least, they do nothing to make the situation worse.

When it comes to gender, how do you find the courage to break free of society’s gender stereotypes regarding the way you dress, think and talk? What happens down the pub when you’d rather talk about dressmaking than football?

What about your relationships - how do you and your partner talk to each other? We want to help you to find ways of thinking and talking that work equally for both the gender-complex individual and partners/family members who often struggle when they find themselves living someone who seems to be taking over their gender assigned role.

An example from our lives: we are at a design fair and Teresa sees a necklace she loves.  She points it out and David’s reaction is to ask her whether she thinks it would suit him. At one level it is not an unreasonable reaction and Teresa understands this, but at another level he is assuming a gender role in the relationship which up until that point, has been entirely hers. It takes some getting used to.

There is no single answer to any of this but tolerance, understanding, confidence and acceptance are all part of the process of learning to be different and of being accepted as different.

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